Tag Archives: Hammer Studios


Student Mircalla is in fact the resurrected vampire Carmila Karnstein (gallery pic 1). She’s the most breathtaking, most powerful Woman I’ve ever seen and my dick becomes taller than me. But then this guy called Richard scares the bejesus out of Her by showing Her a cross (pics 2 & 3). The bastard! God, I hate cruelty towards Lady Vampires, I really do. But then he turns the cross upside down and kneels in front of Her (pic 4).
I could have told them what I knew about You, he says, but I stayed silent. I want only to worship You, be Your servant.
That’s better, my boy! The cross slips through his fingers and falls to the ground.
I will do whatever You demand of me, he cries.
She smiles down on him with the superiority of a Lady who reigns over life and death (pic 5). She isn’t looking for a pet though, so She drinks him like Glühwein (pic 6).
It’s summer and the local cinema is showing these ancient old Hammer movies every Sunday afternoon. I’m eleven years old or so and I limp home with a high-explosive dick in my pants. The damned thing remained rock solid for 8 years, 6 months, 3 weeks, 24 days, 11 hours, 24 minutes and 9 seconds. I had to do a handstand on the toilet seat in order to pee, it was ridiculous. In hindsight the movie wasn’t that good, but this particular scene changed my life forever.