Monthly Archives: July 2019

EMPRESS HYTYMADONGI

They came from a planet called ▽Ẫℏ¶Ŧµ◎Ⱶƃ℥☋Ǜ (aka planet T) and we were to them what bugs are to us. When they spoke about their planet, we could actually see what they meant, because their words came with images! So cool! The universe is teeming with life, Empress ℔ (aka Empress Hytymadongi) explained. All planets are Female-ruled, because no civilisation in its right mind puts men in charge. Unless you like catastrophes. Young and virile men are kept in Reproduction Colonies; the rest is put to work. As nature intended. 
They left in the early afternoon, because they wanted to be home before diner. Our planet is roughly 4 light years away from here, the Empress explained, so it’s just around the corner, really. And yet it would take you people 137 thousand years to get there. Haha, you are so unbearably primitive. It takes us approximately four hours, depending on the space wind. After they’d gone, our President was quick to explain: Women on our planet achieved so much, he said, thanks to men! We gave them the vote, we allowed them to study, we granted them jobs. Women are like children: they look up to us, imitate us, worship us. That’s how it’s always been, that’s how it’s always going to be. Everyone cheered, even some Women. Our president is, after all, such a wise man. And so we remain the laughing stock of the universe for many, many centuries to come.

SUNNY & PAIN

We were sunbathing in the Amsterdam Forest and it didn’t take long (or much) before we started a playful fight. I ended up on my stomach, with Selma on top of me, pinning my shoulders with a reversed cross body pin. She pushed Her pelvis down on my right shoulder and it exploded in pain. Somehow She’d found my flexus-plexus-rexus or something like that, and I screamed and begged for mercy. It made Her laugh.
Let me see if I understand it correctly ….. so this (She pushed down on my shoulder) hurts?
I screamed the birds away.
Not this (She stroke my head), but this (push)?
The pain vibrated through my entire body and I howled in agony.
Mmm, this is so comfortable, don’t you think?
Yes Selma, I squeaked, it is.
You’re such a liar.
No, Selma, no, I swear. As long as you do-
…… don’t do this (push)?
I nearly fainted from pain. A few minutes later She stuffed a hectare of grass in my mouth and made me swallow it. She also forced me to apologise to the birds for making such a racket. Our relationship lasted only two years. A few months after She left, I decided to come out of the submissive closet. Telling my friends and family about my submissive feelings was a brave thing to do, but I should’ve opened my heart to Selma. Not after She’d left, but on that beautiful day in the Amsterdam Forest.

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SHANGHAIING

He left to explore the hidden inlets and forests of one of the many islands in the South China Sea. After weeks and weeks he stumbled over an old colonial hotel, called Crossroads. The young Lady behind the hotel desk was very friendly and offered him a drink on the house. There were three young Women sitting in the bar, drinking and chatting. They asked him about his work, where he came from, his marital status and how he came to find the hotel. He was flattered by all the attention and told them he’d gone off the beaten track. I’ll need you to guide me out of here, because I have no idea how I got here, he laughed. Famous last words, because seconds later a trap door opened and he fell into a cage. He was chained and deported to a faraway land where Women are in charge. Some say he’s now the house slave of a gorgeous Female slave owner, others say he’s whipped, kicked and slapped from dusk till dawn by unbearably beautiful Shanghaiers. It’s even suggested he’s a sex slave at the Queen’s harem. So please come forward if know where we can find this hotel, because I’m dying to know and ready to go!

HIP-HIP HOORAY

Her wardrobe was bigger than Long Island and She had more BDSM equipment than a Fetish store. So he wanted to give Her something different for Her birthday. He asked Her sister for advice and She suggested …….. a bullwhip. Blimey!
So he bought Her a 10ft long, dark-red/black handcrafted bullwhip. It was a beauty and the birthday Mistress was very pleased with it.  
End of story? Not so much, because an hour or so later She grabbed him by the ear, dragged him into Her dungeon and strapped him to the St. Andrews-cross.
Let’s try this new baby, She said with a devilish grin.
The first lash cracked his back. The pain was intense and worse than he remembered. He tried to brace himself for the next one, but the whip bit him even harder. The speed intensified, as did the pain. She was thrilled, because She loved to hear Her victims suffer. She ordered him to sing Her a birthday song, while She tried to whip him in half.
Happy birthday to You, happy birthday to You, he sang.
Louder! The whip cracked.
Happy birthday, dear Mistress, happy birthday to You-oe-oe-oe!
His back was raw and sore for days. You see? He should have brought Her a box of chocolates.

HIS WORD IS …

He will download (not necessarily buy) each and every Femdom movie or picture he can lay his hands on and replace the original watermark with an URL to his own blog. When confronted he will accuse You of being disrespectful. He will swear on his mother’s grave, although his mother is very much alive and in good health. He will promise You the riches of the world, but haggles over each dollar. He’ll tell You time and again he will do anything for You, although anything is not everything. No doubt you’ve heard a variation of the following before. But a good cliché will outlive us all, so here we go:
Mistress, I live and breathe only for You. I will climb the highest mountains, swim the seven seas and walk the earth for You. I will tame a lion, swim with sharks, cuddle a crocodile and wrestle an elephant. Crawl the Chinese Wall, walk through fire, surf on a lava flow, jump off the highest cliff. For You are my beginning and my end, Mistress. You are the rightful owner of my body and soul. I’ll give my life for You, because You are the centre of the universe, the Goddess of the Galaxy.
PS: See You on Saturday, Mistress. Unless it rains of course, because I don’t have an umbrella and I don’t wanna get wet.

AQUA FEMDOM

They asked if I was baptised, the Femdom way. What did they mean by that?
What do You mean by that, I asked.
Oh, my God, one of them said, we have a heathen!!!
They took me to the valley, where the river meanders and snakes, and dragged me into the water. No one told me to take a deep breath or anything; they just pushed me under water and held me there till nightfall. Well, that’s not true of course, but it really felt that way. When they finally allowed me to breathe, I emerged like the Loch Ness monster itself. I cried out in fear. Which proved I was not the Loch Ness Monster after all.
We baptise you with water, for We are the Mistresses of the World.
And down I went. And up. And down again. The ups were ridiculously short and the downs frighteningly long. I drank half the river and about nine trillion bacteria. When it was over, I washed ashore like a piece of human wreckage. I had a horrendously awful taste in my mouth and I begged for some water.
He’s such a great sport, they said, and dragged me back into the water again.

VERBAL HUMILIATION

Look at you! You’re not a man, you’re not even a shadow of a man. You’re a freak of nature, do you know that? Oh shut up, it’s a rhetorical question! There is a tiny brain in your tiny, tiny dick. It will end up in a jar at the museum one day. You think with your dick, that’s why I have ultimate power over you. Because I control your dick. You don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, do you? Blessed are the poor in spirit. You’re still a virgin, no doubt, because seriously; who would date you? I’d almost pity you, if you weren’t such a loser. Look at you now. On your knees and shivering like a shaved Chihuahua on a cold winter’s day. Helpless, Powerless & Worthless, that sums you up in three words, doesn’t it? You’re an annoying little bug that I could crush beneath My heel. And yet, you will do anything for Me, no matter what. Oink like a pig, bark like a dog, neigh like a horse. You are so pathetic, there’s no other word for it. A disgusting, empty-headed creep with a microscopic dick, that’s what you are.
Her slave smiled and gleamed of happiness. She was always so kind and uplifting to him!

CHÂTEAU L’URINE

Château L’Urine, located in the Gironde Department, France, is the holy sanctuary of Grand Cru Piss (pardon my French). Thousands upon thousands of bottles of excellent vintages of the finest Ladies in the world are stored there in underground cellars. Excellence comes with a price, though. A 2011 Mistress Leak sells for $75, a 2012 Domina Drench for $125 and a 2008 Madame Wee-Wee for $170. Pee-products of popular and influential Ladies are in high demand. A 2017 Mistress Tangent (pic 8) for example sells for $250. Bottles of Her vintage year 2014 are extremely rare and are sold for more than $500 at auction. A 2011 Lady Flood and a 2007 NeedaPee of Miss Rebekah Dee (pics 3 and 14) are also very rare and expensive. They’re collectors items and can go for as much as $650 per bottle. The most expensive bottle at the Château is the 2015 Mistress Eleise (the one to the left and pic 10). It’s the last bottle of that glorious vintage year in the world and both Christie’s and Sotheby’s want to auction it. It will sell for an estimated $4,500 or more. It’ll cost you the world, but it will taste like Heaven.