Monthly Archives: September 2019

C’EST LA VIE

‘My parents found me a boarding house in Rue Saint-Honoré. Madame Fouet, the landlady, lived on the ground floor. She was a strict Lady and there were many rules to follow. In for the night by nine, no female visitors allowed (no hanky-panky, She said), a neat and tidy room at all times and no music. She convinced my parents that it was in my best interest that She should be in charge of my monthly allowance. So She had me by the balls, because what are we without money? She ruled with a iron fist and I became Her slave, there’s no other word for it. Oh, She was a merciless disciplinarian, She really was. A Woman dominating a man, that was unheard of in the fifties. Even my friends refused to believe it. So I couldn’t tell my parents about it, even if I wanted to. I was Her property for five years. I graduated in ’59 and my dad wanted me to join the family business. So I said goodbye to Madame Fouet en returned home. I missed Her with every inch of my being and I was completely lost without Her. My life would never be the same and I have always been searching for someone that powerful and dominant.’
The nurse shook her head and said: You have such a vivid imagination, Mr. BrownNow, enough of this nonsense, let me take you to the Bingo game for a bit of real fun!
They would not listen, they’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will

TEASE & DENIAL

She’d tied his ankles and hands to the four corners of the bed and had been teasing his dick for several hours. Again and again She stroked, kissed and sucked his penis until he was ready to blast a hole in the ceiling. But She didn’t allow him to cum. His hips twitched violently, pushing upwards, in a desperate attempt to push himself into orgasm. Which turned out to be just as useless as swimming without water, or running without legs. He screamed, begged, bribed and even cried for help. She was not impressed and kept him on the brink of orgasm. He was about to lose his mind and ready to pass out. Death was imminent, dramatically speaking.
I can’t take this anymore, he scried, with tears streaming down his face.
She stopped immediately and stood up.
You’re absolutely right, She said deadly serious, you just wind down and calm your mind, OK?
She opened the bedroom door.
No, no, I wanna cum. I wanna cum for You! Please! My sperm is boiling and I’m ready to explode!
Ah, that’s so sweet, She said all flowery. Then She stepped out of the room and closed the door to an unforgettable orgasm.

FEMALE PIRATES

Female pirate Anne Bonny (c.1700-c.1782) was known for Her fierce and courageous temper. One day She nearly beat a man to death when he tried to force himself on Her. Anne’s lover Mary Read was also a notorious pirate. According to one of their victims they wore men’s jackets, and long trousers, and handkerchiefs tied about their heads: and … each of them had a machete and pistol in their hands and they cursed and swore at the men to murder me.
In 1683, buccaneer Laurens de Graff killed Anne Dieu-le-Veut’s (1661-1710) husband. She challenged him to a duel. He drew his sword (the imbeciel) and Anne drew Her gun (clever Girl). Laurens backed down (the coward) and proposed to Anne (nice move, dude!). They got married and She became a pirate and a fierce warrior.
Even a guy like Blackbeard was nothing more than a choirboy compared to Madame Cheng I Sao, aka Ching Shih (1755-1844). She was by far the most powerful pirate in history and commanded over 600 ships and some 70.000 men. She reigned with an iron fist and woe betide you if you broke the rules of Her code of conduct! Deserters had their ears chopped off (hear, hear!) and thief’s were beheaded. If one of Her men, a pirate for God’s sake, was caught having consensual sex on duty, he too would lose his head. So She was definitely not the kinda Lady to approach with a noticeable boner in your pants, because Her battle axe was never far away.

WHAT’S YOURS = MINE

She arrived with the sweetest smile and left with my Playstation in Her luggage. She just took it, because what’s yours = Mine and what’s Mine = Mine, She always used to say. So I had to buy myself a new Playstation. Which I did. But wished I didn’t. Because She was not amused when She heard about it, not amused at all.
What’s yours = Mine, She snapped. Which part you didn’t understand?
I … I don’t understand, Mistress, I said bewildered.
She slapped me brutally hard and my ears were ringing like church bells on a Sunday morning.
Do you think this is funny? She grumbled.
No, Mis-
She kneed my  balls against the ceiling and my scrotum exploded in pain.
You bought that goddamn thing with MY money!! What’s yours ……
Aaaah …… I said with an Eureka! look on my face, because only then did it dawn on me.
She grabbed my ear and tried to pull it off my head.
Ah, indeed!! You need My permission before you spend any money. Do you understand?
She ignored me for days after that, which was more painful than a beating. But I learned my lesson and never wasted my = Her money again.

WHO LAUGHS LAST ….

The work pace was slow, because Mistress was out for most of the day. And not surprisingly they started to brag, boast and joke. Because boys will be boys.
Scream before it hurts, one of them grinned, that’s my advice.
Hear hear! We are not stupid, someone else added, we are professional actors.
My “please-stop-Mistress-it-hurts-so-much” performance is worthy of an Oscar, a third one laughed.
At the end of the day, the first one said, we decide when enough is enough.
Masters of the fucking universe!
They doubled up with laughter. Suddenly they heard the sound of a car outside.
God, Mistress is back already! Clean! Clean!
Hello pets, She said with the warmest of smiles, working hard, I see? You boys deserve a break, wouldn’t you say?
The slaves looked at each other in disbelief. What the hell was going on he-
Ah … did I mention that I installed some camera’s? Look, there’s one right above you … and there … and there. State-of-the-art cameras with embedded image correction and sound recording. So, let’s check the camera footage to see what happened while I was away, shall we?

THE BUTTOCKS

Be careful with what you’re saying, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t tell your Mistress She has a magnificent piece of ass, for example. Some Ladies don’t mind, others will nail your rude, filthy and disrespectful tongue to the old oak tree. Cows have asses, for goodness sake, so treat carefully and choose your words wisely. There are many synonyms for the word ass; from mild to wild and from innocent to crude. The French word derrière sounds rather elegant, but I should avoid words like hams, rotter, stinkpot or crapper if I were you. Anyways, once upon a time I came face to ass (pardon my French) with a rear exit of exceptional beauty. The owner wiggled Her mesmerising buttocks in front of my face and my dick almost exploded. She ordered me to crawl behind Her and led me through the room, with my eyes glued to Her back pack. I would have given Her anything for sixty seconds of worship. It was not to be, because She pulled up Her panty and shorts and went into the bathroom. Why, my dick and I cried, why, why? Because, She giggled from behind the closed bathroom door, you’re an asshole!