Category Archives: HISTORY

SHOES & VINEGAR

Fanny Murray (1729-1778) was allegedly the most beautiful and undoubtedly the most famous courtesan of Her generation. Novels were dedicated to Her, songs and poems paid tribute to Her beauty, ships were named after Her, as were racehorses and even gin cocktails (Fanny Murray’s Pick-Me-Up for example, or a Fanny Murray’s Nettle Juice). The men in those days certainly knew how to put a Lady on a pedestal! Nowadays we pride ourselves for cleaning a Lady’s shoes with our tongue. We honestly think that’s the superlative of submissiveness and a true token of devotion. But then again: we live in a time where getting out of bed each morning is enough to earn the hero status, so it’s not really surprising that doing the absolute minimum is considered to be a huge achievement. Many of Fanny’s followers would shake their heads in disbelief. Not only did they use Her shoes as champagne glasses, according to a famous anecdote a couple of Her most devoted worshippers ate Her shoes in 1747. Sliced and fried in butter, to testify their affection for the Lady. Compared to that we’re all oafs, wouldn’t you say? So, a worn shoe please, sprinkled with parsley and vinegar on the side. Yummy!

TRACES OF FEMDOM

Goddess Inanna (aka Ishtar) was the enforcer of divine justice and was believed to be the first dominatrix, forcing Gods and men into submission. One day She approached the gates of the Underworld and said to the gatekeeper:

If you do not open the gate for me to come in,
I shall smash the door and shatter the bolt,
I shall smash the doorpost and overturn the doors,
I shall raise up the dead and they shall eat the living:
And the dead shall outnumber the living!

Holy Moses, that’s my kinda Goddess! Traces of Femdom can be found in books, manuscripts and diaries throughout history. In 1840 there were at least twenty Houses of Discipline in Londen alone: It is very true that there are innumerable old generals, admirals, colonels and captains, as well as bishops, judges, barristers [.] who periodically go to be whipped. Susan Brockway stated in 1725: He gave Mary Gardner money to fetch a penny-worth of rods, [..] for us to whip him to make him a good boy. Theresa Berkley was the most famous flagellant of Her time and one of Her customers wrote: a pound sterling for the first blood drawn, two pounds sterling if the blood runs down to my heels, three pounds sterling if my heels are bathed in blood, four pounds sterling if the blood reaches the floor, and five pounds sterling if She succeeds in making me lose consciousness. From Goddesses, to Priestesses, Empresses and Female Farao’s, and from the 18th century Houses of Discipline to the famous House of Pain in the 1970s in The Hague; Female Domination is of all times.

THE STORY OF ARISTOTLE & PHYLLIS

One upon a time there was a Greek philosopher named Aristotle (384-322 BC). He had a brain the size of a Greek island and a dick the size of an Olympic swimming pool. He was the tutor of Alexander the Great, who had a crush on a Lady called Phyllis. Aristotle was not amused: do you want to be great in bed, he asked, or great on the battlefield? A tricky dick question and Alexander decided to go for the battlefield. Alexander the Great Idiot, one might say.
Now it was Phyllis’ turn to be pissed. She decided to seduce Aristotle and teach him a lesson. One day She walked by barefooted, which was the equivalent back then of making a porn movie. Aristotle was smitten with Her and begged Her to have sex with him. Not a romantic dinner, not a walk along the beach at sunset, not a good conversation about psychology or the latest iPhone, no sir! Just wham-bam: Phyllis, I wanna fuck You. The brute.
On one condition, Ari, Phyllis said, you will come to my chamber crawling on hand and foot, in order to carry Me like a horse. 
Aristotle obeyed, put on saddle and bridle and went on all fours. She grabbed a whip and spurred him on with a vengeance. The members of the court watched in awe and admiration, as Phyllis humiliated this great man.
Come on, full throttle, Aristotle! She demanded.
And from that moment on, dear children, everyone called him Aristhrottle.

FEMALE PIRATES

Female pirate Anne Bonny (c.1700-c.1782) was known for Her fierce and courageous temper. One day She nearly beat a man to death when he tried to force himself on Her. Anne’s lover Mary Read was also a notorious pirate. According to one of their victims they wore men’s jackets, and long trousers, and handkerchiefs tied about their heads: and … each of them had a machete and pistol in their hands and they cursed and swore at the men to murder me.
In 1683, buccaneer Laurens de Graff killed Anne Dieu-le-Veut’s (1661-1710) husband. She challenged him to a duel. He drew his sword (the imbeciel) and Anne drew Her gun (clever Girl). Laurens backed down (the coward) and proposed to Anne (nice move, dude!). They got married and She became a pirate and a fierce warrior.
Even a guy like Blackbeard was nothing more than a choirboy compared to Madame Cheng I Sao, aka Ching Shih (1755-1844). She was by far the most powerful pirate in history and commanded over 600 ships and some 70.000 men. She reigned with an iron fist and woe betide you if you broke the rules of Her code of conduct! Deserters had their ears chopped off (hear, hear!) and thief’s were beheaded. If one of Her men, a pirate for God’s sake, was caught having consensual sex on duty, he too would lose his head. So She was definitely not the kinda Lady to approach with a noticeable boner in your pants, because Her battle axe was never far away.

BIRCHING

Foreigners in the past were amazed by the English addiction to flagellation. Mrs. Colet ran a famous whipping establishment (established about 1766) in Convent Garden for example and Mrs. Berkely (died in 1836) had one in Charlotte Street. The latter even designed the Berkley Horse (in 1828), an apparatus to flog gentlemen upon. [.] Her instruments of torture were more numerous than those of any other Governess. Her supply of birch was extensive, and kept in water, so that it was always green and pliant: she had shafts with a dozen whip thongs on each of them; a dozen different sizes of cat-o’-nine-tails, some with needle points worked into them; various kinds of thin bending canes; leather straps like coach traces; battledoors, made of thick sole-leather, with inch nails run through to docket, and currycomb tough hides rendered callous by many years flagellation. Holly brushes, furze brushes; a prickly evergreen, called butcher’s bush; and during the summer, a glass and China vases, filled with a constant supply of green nettles, with which she often restored the dead to life. Thus, at her shop, whoever went with plenty of money, could be birched, whipped, fustigated, scourged, needle-pricked, half-hung, holly-brushed, furze-brushed, butcher-brushed, stinging-nettled, curry-combed, phlebotomized, and tortured.