Tag Archives: Ballbusting

THE SQUEEZE IS ON

Selma jumped off the couch and I Usain Bolted to the toilet and locked myself in. Now, you have to know that one of my ancestors was in Napoleon’s army during the Russian campaign of 1812. He wrote his last letter from Butkiškė, Lithuania, never to be heard of again. Only the letter survived. His brother fought against Napoleon at Waterloo in 1815 and lived to tell the tale. And here I was, a descendant of these battle-hardened men, cowering in a fucking water loo. I opened the door ajar and waved some toilet paper up and down. Selma told me it was safe to come out. I wasn’t too convinced though, because She could be a mean, brutish, cruel, merciless and barbaric bitch sometimes. But then again, you can’t live in a toilet for the rest of your life, so I opene –
She grabbed me by the balls and twisted them viciously. Like sticking your nuts in a mixer.
Selma-ah-ah-aa. I danced up and down like a frog on a hot plate.
Next time you’ll do as you’re told, won’t you?
Yes, yes, I give you my wo-aaa-ord.
She squeezed even harder and my voice reached the high C. She was more deadly than a demolition squad, no question about it.
Don’t let it happen again, She hissed.
She let go of my balls. I fell down on my knees and sobbed in pain.
My ancestors turned in their graves.

KNEEING

This tiny little GIF is a symphony of beauty and Female power, as far as I’m concerned, and I can watch it endlessly. Which is not difficult, because it’s a GIF and these things go on and on and on about it. But seriously: Miss Belle, one of Britain’s most beautiful models, looking absolutely gorgeous, as always, sexy boots, breathtaking legs; what more can a man ask for? She’s so relaxed, so complete in control, as if it takes no effort at all to make a grown man howl in pain. She’s more powerful than a hurricane with a temper and all it takes is a lovely knee and a fragile scrotum and it’s goodnight Irene. I know, not every knee to the groin is a castrater per se, but when it hits with pinpoint accuracy, you will go down faster than the Titanic.
The last time I got kneed in the groin was at Prague airport, I clearly remember that. The Mistress was so kind to drive me there and She gave me three bye-bye knees to the scrotum in the departure hall. The first one was allright, the second and third made me sound like a castrate on holiday. Nothing beats da power and beauty of a Ladies’ knee, hell no!