His wife was all for equality (She said), didn’t believe in domineering (She claimed) and was always willing to listen (She asserted). However, She handled all the money and his salary went straight into Her account. So he had to ask for money if he wanted to buy something. Sometimes he was lucky, sometimes he wasn’t. Questioning Her decisions was tantamount to insult. So he kept his mouth shut. Well, he tried anyway.
I am too good for this world, She said one day, because I have decided to give you pocket money. $50 a week, how does that sound?
He couldn’t believe his ears: Wow!! That sounds grea-
That’s the gross allowance, of course. This figure is reduced by a charge of $15 a week for the work I put in behind the scenes. Which leaves a sum of $35 a week.
Well … … OK … … yes, yes, tha–
I also have to charge you for board. Meals, clothes, electricity, gas; it all has to be paid for somehow. So, $18 a week for board. Which leaves a sum of $17 a week. Happy?
He opened his mouth in protest, but She slapped it shut.
Don’t interrupt Me! Where was I? Oh yes, you also have to pay Me a reasonable sum of $15 a week, which goes straight into My clothing account. You don’t want your lovely Wife wearing rags, do you? No, you don’t! So, it leaves you with a net allowance of €2 a week.
He couldn’t believe his ears (part II): That’s not even enough to buy a pair of socks!
Alright, She sneered, if you don’t wan-
No, no, no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was ungrateful of me. I apologise.
Jeez, Harold, She said, shaking Her head, I can’t believe how greedy you are sometimes.
I am too good for this world, She said one day, because I have decided to give you pocket money. $50 a week, how does that sound?
He couldn’t believe his ears: Wow!! That sounds grea-
That’s the gross allowance, of course. This figure is reduced by a charge of $15 a week for the work I put in behind the scenes. Which leaves a sum of $35 a week.
Well … … OK … … yes, yes, tha–
I also have to charge you for board. Meals, clothes, electricity, gas; it all has to be paid for somehow. So, $18 a week for board. Which leaves a sum of $17 a week. Happy?
He opened his mouth in protest, but She slapped it shut.
Don’t interrupt Me! Where was I? Oh yes, you also have to pay Me a reasonable sum of $15 a week, which goes straight into My clothing account. You don’t want your lovely Wife wearing rags, do you? No, you don’t! So, it leaves you with a net allowance of €2 a week.
He couldn’t believe his ears (part II): That’s not even enough to buy a pair of socks!
Alright, She sneered, if you don’t wan-
No, no, no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was ungrateful of me. I apologise.
Jeez, Harold, She said, shaking Her head, I can’t believe how greedy you are sometimes.
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