He opened his birthday present and immediately teared up when he saw the dog collar.
Am I getting a dog? Ohhhh, I have been dreaming of that since I was a wee boy. Is it a terrier? A spaniel perhaps? A poodle? A bulldog? Please tell me, darling, please! Does it have a name yet?? Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, what’s in a name, right? Ohhhh, I’m so exited, I can’t stop talking. You should have gagged me first, haha. You claw like a grumpy lioness, rule like a strict Governess … but underneath that facade of Female greatness and power, You’re such a sweet Woman. Bless You, darling, for making me so happy. Please, don’t hold me in suspension any longer! Where is it, where is the dog!
She looked at him as if he were a fossil of prehistoric times.
It’s in the room ….
IN THE ROOM!!!!!! he screamed.
He jumped off the couch like a flea with an itch. He kneeled down and looked under the couch, looked behind the big flower pots, under the cushions, behind the curtains, in the drawers.
Come here, you empty bag, She said. Give Me the collar and kneel down in front of Me.
Oh my God, he whispered in panic, You’re not sitting on the poor thing, are You, darling?
She ignored him and put the collar on his neck and attached a leash to the collar.
There you go! That’s My doggy. Say: WOOF.
The truth sank in with all its might. Unbelief en disappointment dripped from his face. Woof, he said, without a trace of enthusiasm.
Do that again and I have you neutered at the vets, She sneered.
WOOF, WOOF, he barked, jumping up and down and wagging his dick.
That’s better, She smiled. Now, it’s your birthday, soooooo …. how about some dog food!

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