It’s six o’clock in the morning and we servants gather in the hall. Lady Emma rarely gets out of bed before 09:30, but here we are, at this godforsaken hour, just in case an early-morning-miracle happens. We are all naked, because, as Lady Emma so elegantly puts it- pigs don’t wear pants. Well, you can’t argue with that, can you.
The head butler is waiting on top of the stairs, his eyes fixed on Her bedroom door. He has a very important job, because our fate res-
ALL RISE, he roars.
What!!! Holy shit, She’s up, She’s up! We grab our cocks and masturbate like wildebeest. We have approximately 45 seconds to pull it off and get it up. Lady Emma wants our dicks to be fully erect and hard as steel. Anything less is an insult, She says, a slap in the face. And that’s no good, because She’s the one who does all the slapping. So we need to plant a forest of trees in less than a minute. Each day, every day. That’s what I call stress on the work floor!
She comes down the stairs like an apparition from Heaven, wearing a white, satin robe.
Good morning slaves.
Good morning Lady Emma, we answer as one.
She doesn’t look us in the eye (no FaceTime yet) but inspects the erect. She stops, points at a miserable looking penis and shakes Her head.
What’s this? Mm? This will not do. Come to My room at 11:00 o’clock and I’ll teach you everything there is to know about Eunuchs. 
Hard times, man.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *