Seriously, She could castrate a man with Her voice. He ran down the stairs as fast as he could.
Yes, sugar, he said with a honey-sweet voice.
Don’t sugar Me, Harold! Did you take the garbage out?
Now, that was a bit unfair, wasn’t it? She’d ordered him to clean the bathroom first and he was still busy doing that! But he was definitely not, repeat not, going to argue with Her, because he was too attached to his testicles.
No, I’m so sorry, I will d-
She hushed him with a finger and took him outside. She ordered him to lay down on top of the garbage that was already there and tied his hands behind his back and his ankles to his wrists. He was, one might say, a bundle of joy and happiness.
Night, night, tied, tight, She said, and left him there to rot.
It was still hot outside and the stench of the garbage was almost unbearable. Swarms of flies circled around him. Dreadful business. An old Lady walked by with a dog. She said She felt sorry for him, but that didn’t stop Her dog from taking a piss at him.
His Wife untied him at sunrise, took him to the garden and hosed him down with cold water. God, it couldn’t get worse than this, could it?
I told you yesterday to clean the bathroom, Harold, why isn’t it finished yet?

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