A few weeks ago I found a recipe in a vintage Women’s Weekly magazine. It’s called Soup a la Lingerie. Easy to make and packed with flavour. The ingredients are:
- a panty (preferably the one you’re currently wearing)
- duct tape
- handcuffs or rope
- a bowl
- a full bladder
- an idiot, also known as a male creature
Now, tell the empty bottle, the idiot that is, to kneel down and cuff, or tie, his hands behind his back. It does not affect the taste of the soup, but it’s a nice addition. It’s like putting the kettle on, one might say. Next, take off your gorgeous panty and put it in a bowl. Squat over it and take a long hot piss. Soak that panty, drown it and let it suck up all the juice. Season it, if you like, with a bit of spit or a good old-fashioned fart. Tell the creature to open wide and stuff the soaked panty in his mouth. Wrap some duct tape around his head a few times to make sure that nothing goes to waste.
Let him simmer for about two to three hours. He’s been such a good boy (or not), he deserves it (or not). Pinch his nose from time to time if you want to put up the heat. You can also add certain naughty ingredients if you want. Faceslapping for example (aka stirring), carrots up his nose, broccoli in his ears (aka side dishes); anything goes. Well, that’s all for today on ‘Kinky Cuisine’.
Next time: roasted testicles in penis sauce.