Tag Archives: Battle of the Sexes

WHAT A KNOCKOUT

Victoria “Bone-Crusher” Adams was an experienced boxer. Joe “The Dick” Brown was not. The only ring he’d ever been in, was the Ring of Brodgar, a Neolithic stone circle. And yet, this loudmouthed dumb-ass challenged Victoria to a match. He was going to whoop Her ass, he said, show Her who’s boss. Is there anything more embarrassing than a loudmouth with an empty brain?
And so he stepped into the ring, all pumped up and ready to rumble. There was another Woman in the ring and he immediately punched Her in the face. The referee pulled him away: That’s the Ring Girl, you idiot! The bell hasn’t even rung yet, so calm down.
Victoria looked drop dead gorgeous, as always, in Her black, shiny, boxing shorts. The bell rang and Joe stormed at Her like a bad-tempered bull. He hit, hit, and hit …. nothing but air. Then Victoria landed a right hook, a short right lead, a hard left to the body and a solid straight jab to his nose. Ouch! She hit him again, this time with a flawless uppercut. Joe literally flew through the ring like a Frisbee on the beach. He was knocked out cold, man, just a heap of skin and bones on the canvas. Victoria stood over him, placed Her foot on his chest and showed us Her gorgeous muscles. What a Knockout!

HUMILIATING PIN

Ellen, his two years younger Sister, tackled him from behind and he smacked to the ground. The fight was brief and intense, and She came out on top. She pressed his wrists to the sides of his head and and sat on his upper chest. He struggled to throw Her off, but She had Her legs on his arms and Her knees on his wrists. He wasn’t going anywhere.
Now, let’s wait for our siblings to come home, shall we?
Jesus, are you stupid or what, he laughed sarcastically, no one can sit like this for so long. 
Oh, we’ll see about that, She giggled.
You’re such an idiot sometimes, Ellen.
Perhaps, brother mine, but I’m stronger than you and trust Me, I can sit like this forever.
And She was right, because somehow Her legs didn’t go numb.
The humiliation took him through a roller coaster ride of emotions. First he cursed and swore, then he put on a grave face and whined & whimpered and in the end he begged and begged for mercy. It didn’t help. Then the siblings arrived home.
You sat on him for several hours??? one of their sisters asked in disbelief. Way to go, Sis!
Man, you’re  a wimp, the older brother mocked.
I pinned him down for more than three hours, Ellen wrote in Her diary that evening. Surely that’s something for the Guinness Book of Records!