Tag Archives: Bald Slave


On National Slave Shearing Day the entire male population gets a haircut. This happens twice a year; once in autumn and once in spring. Those who refuse will be fined £3,000 for their first refusal and £10,000 for the second. If it happens again they will be charged and have to appear in court. No exceptions, no mercy. The shearing takes place in town halls, indoor sports arena’s, barns, on the village square and so on.
I’m not a Shearing Day enthusiast, to be honest. On the contrary, I find it utterly degrading. It starts as soon as we arrive, when our hair is checked for lice and nits. Those with lice will be lashed to smithereens. It does not really help with the lice, but everyone feels better afterwards. Well, everyone except one, of course.
And then the shearing itself! Sweet Jesus, what an ordeal! This is shearing on an industrial scale and the Female Shearers work long hours. They are sick and tired of all that hair and they want it over and done with as quickly as possible. So no, not all of them are cruelty free and compassionate! Far from it. Sometimes it’s more a slaughterhouse than anything else and you are lucky to leave with your ears still attached. Forget fringe haircuts, mohawks, undercuts or medium length haircuts. They’re not into that at all, man! So at the end of the day, when all is clipped & cropped, we all end up- bald as snooker balls- on the snooker table of Female Superiority.
September 2097, slave harold