MEEK AS A LAMB

A husband must always respect, and constantly fear his Wife. A useful tool in this is undoubtedly the cattle prod. Pookie didn’t know what it was at first. Poor thing. He put on his Albert Einstein look, studied the prod as if it was an object from another galaxy and wondered if it was some sort of paint sprayer device. Nope, I certainly didn’t marry him for his intelligence, that’s for sure. Wished the Creator had given these creatures at least the beginning of a brain. Nothing fancy, a brain the size of a duck would already have been marvellous. But no such luck. Didn’t marry him for his Dinky Toy Dick either, by the way, but we’ll talk about that some other time.
Anyways, I ordered him on hands and knees, his ass facing Me and gave him a jolt with the cattle prod. Long enough to send his haemorrhoids up to his throat. He jumped up from the floor and screamed like a pig on its way to the slaughterhouse. I knew I had found My new favourite tool.
Snookums turned out to be a quick learner and is terrified of that thing. So I use it daily! Around half past three in the afternoon snuggles puts the tea kettle on the stove and I put the cattle prod on the table. When he comes in with the tea, you can hear the cups rattling on the tray. So cute. It’s one of those things that makes it all worthwhile, I guess. Fear is such an excellent motivator and there’s something romantic about a husband who’s ready to shit himself with fright.
Lady Ingrid

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