She ordered me on all fours and walked through the room, with me crawling right behind Her. Commands came in quick succession: roll over, down, sit pretty, stay, play dead, come. Being a dog is a pretty exhausting business, I can tell you that much.
Wag your tail, puppy!
I wasn’t going to dangle my dick, so I showed Her my ass and shook my butt.
I see no tail
, She said dryly. It’s very, very tiny, Mistress,
Big Mistake! She slapped me hard in the face. And again. And yet again. Like being kissed by a sledgehammer. Dogs don’t talk, do they, Pluto?
I kept stumm, didn’t even growl. She picked up a dog toy, showed it to me and tossed it across the room. I wagged my non-existing tail and waited. Fetch!
I crawled like crazy and picked up the toy with …… my hand. Jesus, Snoopy! Seconds later She rammed Her boot on the back of my head, holding my face down to the floor. She grabbed my hair and trimmed it. I got the point.
I fetched the toy over and over again, brought it back and placed it right before Her feet. Next time we’ll bring out the dog food
, She said.
I hid my head under the couch and whined.
Yes, it was a deeply humiliating experience, but I was as happy as a dog with two tails.